Saturday Moments: It All Comes With Age.

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Well, I’ve definitely been a bit MIA this week.  It started off okay I suppose, besides being sick.  Then my mother called me about my father’s health. She is one of those people that overreacts in all situations- it really doesn’t matter the context.  “They got your coffee order wrong, what?!” “You aren’t feeling wonderful, what?!” “You prefer your tea with milk, what?!” “You didn’t put your blinker on during your turn, ah!” Are you feeling her inner-spazz?

In many situations I just have to have patience with her and take her energy for what it is.  So, when she began to overreact about my father having to schedule a doctor’s appointment the next day, I stayed completely calm.  She, of course, didn’t hesitate to throw around the “C” word (i.e. cancer), but I still stayed calm. However, it did began to creep up on me that my parents are both well past their 50s.  My father is actually about to turn 73 the 10th of this month.

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To get to the center, my father is since okay as for now. As I thought, my mother did overract, but what did come out of the moment was that my parents are both getting older.  Perhaps because they had me at a later age, it has become a natural thought lately for me to think my time with them it a bit more precious than most people my age do at this point. I mean, I try to pull out the positive in just about any situation, but I think at some point the reality (hint, the core of my blog’s purpose) of life does take a hold of us. And sometimes it can be a bit scary.

In all honesty, the relationship I have with my parents at the moment could definitely use some brighter colors (probably always has.) For a number of different reasons, but as for now, I’m really trying to find a path of peace with this topic.  No matter what issues surround any relationship in our life, I’m starting to realize to begin with pointing out why they mattered so much in the first place.  It helps to center yourself, and to find a path of reconnection with those people.  Even if things aren’t so wonderful with certain people in our lives, remember the energy you gave- that’s all that matters after all.

I guess our ‘end’, it’s apart of life, it’s inevitable, and one of the many things we will deal with.  The universe has a beautiful way of showing us this because we have a chance to evaluate what matters and what we give back in return.  I suppose we just have to trust life will be brighter if we embrace a bit of reality and savor some of the truths that come with life.

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So yet another slight moment of growing and learning. Life is a magical thing, it truly is.  This week was definitely me re-remembering and consciously remaining humbled by how life throws us curveballs right on time.  Cheers to trying a bit more with (my parents) the people we love.

xo, til’ next loves.

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Smell The Roses; and other Life Lessons.

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Through a child’s eyes the world has little faults. To be simply living and breathing and laughing can make up for a kaleidoscope of troubles and hardships. I always reflect on this when life gets a little overwhelming for me. And believe me, I reflect a lot these days. We often somehow drift very far from our beginning, those roots that once kept us grounded in the pastel-lit summer breeze of our childhood- eventually sways away and we begin trying to fit jagged puzzle pieces together, a mold and creation of what we hope ends up looking like our ‘self’. It’s funny really if you sit and think about it, hell, you probably become too involved in your own mind and drive yourself crazy (much like someone I know, guilty.)- but I’ve been trying to make this ‘puzzle’ a swift trial-and-error kinda’ ordeal, rearranging what’s ‘important’ and what ‘I need to be doing’. Hence, my absence for the past bit on my lovely blog-o-space. I’ve been writing lists and marching around the internet trying to ‘get things done’, and half the time I end up realizing I’m not even completely sure what I’ve actually gotten done. Or, even better, what I’m doing. I’m also a list kinda’ girl, and if you are like me, it’s like random tiny notebooks take an Aladdin-type aura and swarm around me at all hours of the day, some filed with tiny to-do’s, other’s with, like, hilarious ten-step plans for me to be able to sip some sort of iced tea in a decent sized backyard that has flowing assortments of lemon, orange, and avocado trees, and I’m in some marvelous, flowing, white attire practicing ‘enlightenment’ and meditation. Also, I’ve helped the world in some decent, awesome, way and I have no worries because I am able to give back to the world and I get to write all the time about people’s awesome lives as a real big girl job- so everything is peaceful and lovely. It’s like, can that just happen? Ah, my life. Someday.

Anyhow, that’s where I’ve been loves. Fishing for my dreams. Oh, being 23… I’m hoping I’m not the only craze in this gen’?  It felt appropriate to write today about this, especially in light of ‘throwback thursday’, and my already (somewhat) jaded self above (haha).

I’m slowly trying not to be a human cartoon, with all the running and feeling like I’ve past the same scenery…23 times. I think if we all admit it- it’s a part of the whole ‘molding self’ ordeal. Like a right of passage or some way the Universe gets a laugh when it gets bored being so old and such. So I’ll hand it to him, half the time my life does slightly feel like a comedy, but perhaps we just have to take it as a good thing, and laugh with it. Fitting puzzle pieces together swiftly isn’t really working for me, so I figure I’ll just keep writing about the trail and error and lovely things, and somehow everything will simply be okay.

So I’m smelling the roses and keeping up just doing what I love to do, and with that you can’t go wrong. I was actually thinking about this very statement last week when I was visiting my grandmother’s home at the beach- and I figured I would share. She passed away about a year ago, but she was one of those people that always made you feel like life, indeed, wasn’t falling apart. She was born in 1920, so I always figured her advice was hierarchy to all the rest, wouldn’t you? Especially when I first had my ‘beginning-life-crisis’ in the very beginning of my twenties. She was always a big believer in things working out, and keeping light on ‘the little things’. So, a couple weeks ago I posted this from a picture I took while walking around one day. The quote I thought of just kinda’ stuck, and ever since I’ve been trying to really pay attention to everything around me because I think we are given little signs everyday, to show us we really do have a purpose, and someone is always there. Anyhow, it’s always hard going to South Carolina knowing she won’t be there to cheer me up or give me wonderful life advice, but I was sitting in the sun one day- stressing and worrying particularly at that very moment-and suddenly noticed her favorite roses were blooming in one particular spot. Right about that time, a red cardinal flew in right beneath them…I scrambled around quietly like a spazz for a chance to get a picture- and I got it just before he flew off. It didn’t end up being the clearest shot, but I caught it, and that was enough. Needless to say, even in its somewhat blurriness, it will have a lovely place on a wall somewhere in my home sometime in the very near future. I figured with something so ironic and beautiful (story and all), it has to have a more permanent space in my life.

So, maybe you’re in my boat, or something like it- so it’s a nice reminder to share with you, loves; we’re always apart of something bigger, than ourselves, than our worries, than the things that maybe bring us down sometimes. So, I suppose this post is kind of a kickoff to summer posts, and thoughts, and fashion, and food, and faith? (who knows, anything goes), and ponders, and all sorts of loveliness. From me…then, and now.

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Give A Damn: Stephen Colbert Style. No, Seriously.

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I remember the first time I was watching Stephen Colbert in a dorm room when I was 19. I remember thinking, “Hey, that guy is fucking hilarious!”, and since then- he’s been one of those comedians that never let me down, which obviously takes talent because I’m a pretty hard crowd when it comes to the touchy subject of ‘funny’. So, this past weekend he was Virginia University’s keynote speaker and if you hadn’t seen some of the quotes from his speech, it’s kind of an absolute must. He referenced Time Magazine’s new article about us (‘millennial gens’), as well. That article in itself is enough to make me want to seriously scream, it’ll make your blood boil, without a doubt. My only satisfaction from the article; you can always clearly see desperate writers when they resort to slandering a whole generation). Oh, however, Tyler Kingkade gave a lovely, and well-crafted, rebuttal (I felt like I was at a hockey game while reading them one after another, shaking my fist and all, like a complete spazz/loser). Anyhow, here’s some excerpts from the speech…

Continue reading “Give A Damn: Stephen Colbert Style. No, Seriously.”

A Life In The Day, Of ‘One Of Those Days’.

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Today started as a normal, lovely, day. I had an eye appointment, seeing that I’m a blind mouse and desperately need new glasses, so things were running as smooth as icing, considering. I arrived…on time, big plus. The coffee-shop had my favorite coffee, double plus. The waiting room had Garden and Gun, the best magazine ever- which was enough to be a day maker. Fast-forward. In the office I waited, and finally the usual abrupt, hurried, doctor appeared and checked everything out. ‘You’re basically blind’, sweet/check. Perfect. Small talk occurred as if he actually gave a damn about my life- you know how it goes. I usually try to counteract this and have a somewhat genuine conversation with anyone I meet, so I really gave it a try this morning because things felt particularly pink and rosy. I was feeling good. (Abrupt halt music, cue!) I truly don’t know if it was the joke I told the Optometrist about my eyes being sensitive in elementary school and my wearing sunglasses that had me resembling somewhat of a alien-type figure on the playground and him NOT laughing at all, or the fact I suddenly realized I’m 23 and have no clue what my life resembles, besides wanting to save the world. God only knows, but I’m sure he knew I crashed like a fox driving a car. And no, I have no clue what that means. Come to think of it, speaking of foxes and crashes and nonsense, it’s almost comical the kaleidoscope of emotions you go through as a young woman in your 20s on any given day in 2013. Maybe you’ll relate: One moment everything is most pristinely represented by spectacular fireworks, kittens, and Michael Cera-ish humor, you’re about to be able to afford your, life! And then suddenly we’re, like, lighting black candles and drinking wine from the bottle, and barely able to scrap up enough cash to buy half of an apple. Extremes? Yes, but life blindside-hit me today on a dashing Mid May morning (should have gotten my glasses earlier, perhaps I could have dodged it? No? Okay) and it turned black-candle-lighting worthy. Then again, I mean, who am I kidding? Life always hits you about one-million-seven-hundred-and-fifty-BILLION times, and it happens apparently when you think things are finally starting to coast and sparkle. When you’re trying to make sense of what you want out of your life and from your life, I think it’s best to plan these things out. However, that’s just an ironic statement in itself. “Hey Life, let’s make a bargain okay? I’ll give you one day out of the month to pretend like you’re blindsiding me, sound good? Cool.”

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 So anyway, the usual hysteria began in my mind today; What has this world come to? Why don’t people see how amazing it could be if people were a little more, let’s make this easier for the general public…caring? What makes sense when everything seems not to? Why aren’t things a little more…I don’t know, fucking, bright? How can I actually contribute to make those things brighter? I have a Super Woman outfit! Will that do? Oh, and why does France seem to get to take naps and holidays, like, all the time? America, take notes. I want to be apart of something bigger than myself!….(blank stare at what this could be). Real talk though; You know, those questions that begin to overwhelm you when you least expect it and sneakily undermine your absolute determination to rise above it all.

When I got home I followed with my “best” attempt. I decided to resort to a classic, past phase of complete ‘childish wisdom’ in response to those questions that randomly swarmed me; I’ll cry and cry…and cry. Then, when I open my eyes, the world will definitely have infinite amounts of lollipops and rainbows, right? Or at least perhaps, bright and beautiful pastel buildings, with clear oceans, and people smiling for absolutely no other reason than loving their life and other’s, too? Well, needless to say, my ‘childish wisdom’ let me down, but hey, it was worth the try. I sat for a moment in mascara-globbed silence to regroup. I regrouped right down to the only choice I had: Picked my 23 year old, lost-kind of-sort of, ass up, and said the following; “You’re okay, your life is a beautiful gift, and you’ll make it spectacular, for yourself, and everyone around you- if it’s the last thing you do”. So cheers, ladies (and my gents), even when life is randomly overwhelming you- remember we have to get back up and turn on the light for the world to be a little brighter. My lesson to myself, and you, today. So hug the world…(or your dog, like I did) and smile! We got this loves. xoxo

Oh, and a little inspiration on how to turn you’re day around, as I did;

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 All in all, lessons learned, day past, and it was monumental in a small, but surprisingly lovely, way.

Monday Morning Madness: Would You Keep A Body Photography Diary?

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…As a portrait of yourself as a young, 20something, woman? To remember who she was all those years later?…

Yesterday evening I got on this whole feminist kick, which I tend to do a lot. I’m a woman, I FUCKING rock, kind of ordeal.  I was watching videos on modern feminism (which I love, makes ya’ think), looking at this new book that seems very interesting on where our generation is heading, and basically just thinking about how I am a woman in my 20s at this very moment. Of course, these thoughts kind of dwelled into my restlessness last night and I started to think how this part of my life will probably one day feel as if it was lived in a complete flash. I mean, keep aside that every single day I ask myself, “What the hell are you doing with your life, Laura White?”, but then I always end up thinking- well that’s how I know I’m in my 20s. It was actually quite funny because I then had this non-existent nostalgia for something that wasn’t really even gone quite yet. That weird feeling like I can already feel myself missing, well, myself. To be…free, and lost, and completely crazy at times. To be…in the most miserable of miserable, and mind-blowingly happy, places of my life- all at fucking once.  It’s something I think I’ll always cherish and want to remember. My next question seemed to just kind of float around as I was laying there, ‘how can I remember myself…at this very, fragile, stage?’

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Then it came to me, why not a yearly-photograph in the form of a body diary? No, I’m not talking about recording the things you hate about yourself, the insecurities, the food you ate that day, slowly morphing into something you hope resembles page 6 in Victoria’s Secret. None of that. Why not take one photograph every year that made you remember the strong, independent, beautiful, and lovely women you are slowly, but surely, becoming? Or, hell, already are. I think it would be nice to keep something like that around, as women, in a raw state, to remember ourselves by in such impressionable times. The things we were doing each year, whether we were off-the-wall lost or completely and pristinely together in all forms. To have something you could take with you to capture the interesting moments of being a woman, right now. I think it would be a very freeing ‘self-adventure.’

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Of course the idea of keeping this ‘Body Diary’ would be completely up to us. Whether we bare-it-all, or take a picture of our eyes, it would definitely have a frame of its’ own judgement. It would be cool to have a seriously talented photographer friend somewhere around your life, but the point is just keep the moment here. Maybe the apartment you dwelled in that felt like your first true ‘home’ by yourself…the breakfast you usually ate, every morning before the silly job you had. I think it would be nice to go to a place that was particularly important to us that year and get a photo- or a certain book that felt life-changing at the time. It would all be within a realm of growing and being able to look back on each of these years when we are older. Even as a ‘one-day’ mom, I think it would be super cool to be able to show your daughter a look back on your life so they can see how fearless you were, and they will be too. Because we’re woman, and we’re amazing.

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Present Day.

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Yesterday, I sat here in front of my computer going on about the realities of being in the largest generation ever known. How hard it feels sometimes, to feel caught in the middle of this invisible line that clearly divides us and the other generations. We’ve witnessed what it means to live in a ‘globalized’ world that’s so connected at times, that often you feel as though you’ve walked in a lot shoes, and I mean a lot. Some of us were even young enough to see terror at such an impressionable age that it almost seems second nature to witness some horrid scene thrashed up against some high-definition screen.

In any case, it never gets easier. I sat and watched some of the videos uploaded from Boston today…I really can’t imagine. Then again, why can’t I? More and more I know a lot of my generation feels as though our world is just this raging chaotic flame, that just burns right through us. I ask myself almost daily, exactly how has witnessing all that we have, truly affected us? I can say that in one ray of positive light, we have great empathy within us. We can walk through basically anyone’s shoes on any given day through the power of social media and the unlimited resources of information that we have access to. We are the first to be so connected that we can almost live another’s life. That has to be something that will set us apart, actually, I know it will.

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I only wish that we never become too numb. To be so exposed that we end up feeling as though we are useless. I think that is my biggest fear for us, we have a lot up against us that is out of our control- and I think I speak for many when I say- we are, indeed, smart enough to realize a lot of what happens IS out of our control…right now. However, in just a few years from now the majority of all of us will be, well, the majority– which is pretty awesome. Awesome enough that that ring word we’ve all heard like a broken record almost becomes true…hello there, Hope. There is so much that inspires me in being apart of the youth of this world, I know any evil that presents itself will always fall short. We glow, we might be quite down-on-our-luck because who wouldn’t seeing what we’ve seen? But, I know we really do rock. Ironically, I saw the above first quote up on Facebook earlier today, from a fellow 20something. Even though I think we’ve witness many more ‘scary things’ in the news than Fred Rogers (lol), we are helpers– and that’s what gonna’ make our future so very different.

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xoxo. Thinking of you, Boston, love sent.

Monday Morning Madness: Happy Labor Day + Living in Charlotte During the DNC.

First Off; Happy Labor Day Lovies!

So lately, ladies and gents, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. Big dreams, big jobs, and lots of juggling are usually involved in our twenty-something-aged life this era. Times where we looked to others to tell us what we are supposed to be doing has long past. I have to think with this economy, the stereotypical go to college, get a job, find the love of your life, buy a house, ‘yadda yadda yadda-speal’ doesn’t give us a routed course anymore.  Our generation seems to be very vivid, and in a way, I think it fits to say we aren’t scared of swerving from the routed course.

Given this, I’ve definitely been a bit lazy about posting as of late. For one, if you guys aren’t aware, I live in Charlotte, NC as of the moment and this week as some of you may know, is kind of a big deal. The Democratic National Convention is being hosted mere blocks from where I live so I’m pretty stoked about the whole ordeal and trying to make my way through the crowds of what is hopefully going to be very inspirational and eye-opening. I’ve made my whole morning out of trying to get a seat for the President’s nomination-acceptance Speech, all in hopes good Karma will come in handy with the feat.

When I first went off to college in 2007 at Pace University, I remember for my birthday (October 2) all I wanted was to go and see Barack Obama speak in Washington Square Park. At the time, I was a political-craze and loved everything about the whole process and deemed my major would definitely be either Political Science or International Relations; Changing the world seemed so viable and alive in those lovely years. So, a couple of us skipped class for the day and rounded ourselves up, hopped on a train, and set off to see what would become, a mere year later, the new US president. It was a high to be apart of something that was so big, and since that one time, I’ve always been avid in catching glimpses of history.

Perhaps I’ll even blame my lack of posting on being politically active and aware. Although that may, or may not, be true. Still, it sounds kind of Jackie Kennedy-ish, right?

Aside from the political-chaos, I’m also thinking of moving back to NYC and I’m so ready to get back that recently a lot of time has been consumed in planning (and thinking, and contemplating, and spazzing about life, etc.,etc.,etc.) the move back (hopefully). That means cortisol production from the adrenaline of trying to plan another move is already taking a toll. Money-saving and internship/job searching has definitely been on my big-girl list of things to do as of late.

Pretty much, there has just been a lot going on in my mind and around me. Which is not always bad, it’s almost kind of like critical thinking, but completely by environment, that in itself is pretty cool to me. So I’m deeming this week ‘Environmental-Critical-Thinking Week’, in that, I intend to keep my guard down with the whole DNC ordeal…take it all in; Let all of the debate, craziness, and action around me, truly inspire me. Try to become a little more pro-active by definition, if only for my generation, because I think times are a little tough for all of us right now, and we could use more of the word ‘pro’ and ‘active’. I’m a big believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’ and I came across the quote above the other day, which pretty must instills what I’ve been running around in circles over this whole post. Put yourself around what it is you want to be; It’s the only way that you will become just that.

Cheers to looking dashing in (Red) White (and Blue)/soaking up the last of summer/Being Pro-Active, all in spirit for a lovely Labor Day darlings! Til’ again…