Monday Morning Madness: A Coffee Makeover. {Humanitarian Style}


We can pretend like we don’t drink coffee like it’s water, but it would probably be a lie. Coffee shops are in abundance, and I preferably would like to try all of them. However, I do like to pretend I’m in little cafes, writing, on the reg’- so it’s nice to mock their style…at home. It’s also a must in this house that coffee is the following; wonderfully sweet (without nasty health-breaking refined sugar), supporting the ‘locals’ (buy your beans from a cool shop in your neighborhood!), and a milk that brings some positive vibes to your bod (Sunflower milk anyone?)…

Continue reading “Monday Morning Madness: A Coffee Makeover. {Humanitarian Style}”

To Eat, Or Not, Eat Bread: Or, In Other Words, End of My Life. (10 Signs You’re Gluten-Intolerant)


When it comes to most foods, I literally can give up ANYTHING. Cheese? Sure, we aren’t technically supposed to digest the stuff anyway (unless, we’re in Paris, of course). Dessert? Oh, okay, let the loud singing begin. Carry on, lovely mental retaliation, “She wore a(aaaa) itsy-bitsy-teenie-weenie-yellow-polka-dot-bikini!” Meat? Hell yea, get that shit out of my face. However, there is one thing that I hold dear, very, dear…


Bread. I truly adore bread. It seems so…Parisian. And, on any given day you’ll find me with tiny teacups full of expresso, sadly attempting French accents, pretending I can understand French-indie movies, hopelessly tying scarves around my neck, and stuffing my tiny Chihuahua named (ready?!)…Ciel, in my purse pretending I’m going to the French market to pick up dinner.  Obviously, coming home with one of those lovely, soft, chewy, baguettes fresh from the bakery. Perfect life, hello(ooo), I’ll see you soon! Or, maybe not…

Aside from the fact I like to pretend I live in Paris every other day, the funny thing is-going back to my love affair with bread-I actually truly have given up meat, cheese, and basically everything under the sun that would hide itself under the name-tag of ‘refined.’  I was a pretty hardcore Vegan for quite sometime (more on the vegetarian side these days, although I eat very(yyy) little dairy because of lactose intolerance), but that never restricted me from eating bread. Which, is where the story begins.


In the past year or so, every single time I ate gluten I would feel HORRIBLE. No energy, super tired, and not to mention bloating. I would quite honestly feel gross. However, the interesting part is that it only would occur with SOME of the gluten products I would consume. Last Fall, I read a Piece in ‘Natural Health’ magazine about a guy out in California who sells his bread every week and still insists on producing it the old-timey way. Apparently even people who severely suffered from Celiac disease could still eat his bread and feel perfectly fine. Still had gluten, but it was super fermented because it was Sourdough-which apparently drastically changed the bread from the kind that, say, you see on the shelves/freezer at your local grocery store. What does that mean, you ask? Well, what I’ve concluded is that his bread was something we would see in places perhaps, like Europe (because most parts of Europe are still very traditional when it comes to food production, unlike the good ole’ US of A), or in the old days, when Wheat was NOT hybridized into something our bodies pretty much doesn’t recognize anymore.

Well, what happens when all of the sudden wheat becomes ‘the bad guy’? You guessed it, a whole lotta’ money makin’ on the still pretty new ‘Gluten-Free’ fad.

Here’s the thing, most of the problem lies in the today’s production of most grains and wheat. Most of our wheat in the US has been modified into fast-producing plants, for quicker production, and more $$$. Not to mention, most of today’s grains host sodium azide which is a known toxin to our bodies. Also, another by-product of completely modifying wheat/grains in the past 50 years has been the type of proteins the plants now produce. In which, you’ll be delighted to hear scientists have concluded many of us cannot digest these proteins properly. Hence, the era of Gluten-intolerance. Awesome, right? The funny thing is, where do we hear about this stuff in mass media?


Well, I can attest to the fact my body is definitely not a fan of most Gluten anymore (and most likely, yours too), however, my point here is don’t become completely bummed if you are in my position. I will say, a lot of tried-and-true smaller guys (i.e…bakers/farmers) out there in the US insist on trying to be honest in giving consumers quality, not quantity. It’s a long shot that their bread will be completely untainted by hybridized wheat- although it’s worth a try if you love bread as much as moi and hope to still support your local bakers and farmers. Doesn’t it suck to know that $$$ is becoming more and more important to the US, than our health? I mean, even after all the evidence? (Sigh…)


{Paris, 1945. Basically me. See you soon, Paris.}

Think you might be Gluten-intolerant, dear? Here are 10 signs you may be, indeed;

^ Continuous digestive issues; fun things like, gas, bloating, etc.

^ Keratosis Pilaris, (aka ‘chicken skin’ on the back of your arms, yum.) which is basically both a  fatty acid deficiency and Vitamin A deficiency secondary to fat-malabsorbtion caused by gluten damaging your gut.

^ Fatigue after a meal, heaviness, fogginess. Check to see if you consumed gluten; Anything that contains wheat, barley, or rye.

^ Diagnosis of an autoimmune disease such as Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, Rheumatoid arthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Lupus, Psoriasis, Scleroderma or Multiple sclerosis.

^ Neurologic symptoms like dizziness, or feeling off-balance.

^ Diagnosis of chronic fatigue or fibromyalgia. These diagnoses simply indicate your conventional doctor cannot pin point the cause of your fatigue or pain.

^ Severe PMS, PCOS, or problems with fertility.

^ Migraines.

^ Inflammation, pain, swelling in joints.

^ Anxiety, depression, mood swings, ADD.

Best way to decide if you are truly intolerant, try what I did, and simply remove it from your diet for 2-3 weeks, at least, to see if your body responds more positively than before. Hope this helps. xoxo.


What I’m Adoring: Non-Organic Lemons. (Yes, now read on)

If you don’t know me, which most likely you don’t, one of my very first obsessions you will find here is the lovely word; Food (sparkles, glitter, standing ovation!). It’s such a simple word, with, like, a million connotations wrapped around it. Honestly, these days we are absolutely fucking warped most times when it comes to the subject. Insert guy at the grocery store the other day: “Hey babe, don’t get those lemons! Get the organic ones! They’re so much better for you!” Okay, I know I’m the makeup-less hippie-ish girl standing next to you eyeing the bell peppers, but are you fucking kidding me? Dude, they’re lemons and you just paid all of $2.19 each for the “organic” ones. I mean, thanks for the free comedy show for the spazz girl- but are you a damn idiot? Yes, indeed, he was. It’s called WASH THEM.

Moment needed. Okay…

 I mean, there are definitely times when I believe if I don’t buy a specific fruit or veggie ‘organically’, that I’ll somewhat (kind of, maybe, most definitely?) fall into a puddle of water like the wicked witch of the west. However, I do try to choose that fate carefully, like any crazed health nut should.

All in all, if you do find some time to reflect/meditate/wake the fuck up, food is probably one of the hottest topics of the twenty-first century being that how we produce the stuff has been completely zombie(d) in the past 50 years. Awesome. I think it definitely should be a higher priority to my generation to see the correlation here, it does after all affect…ya’ know, if we live or die. Oh, and the guys that produce the stuff…ya’ know, farmers. Cool, just a thought here.


So, in retrospect I, admittedly, am a capital SPAZZ(ZZZ) about the idea of eating ethically and hopefully boosting your local community by giving a bit of a damn. However for today, I will (sort of) get off my soapbox and hope to spread a little knowledge when the buzzword “organic” presents itself in front of you at the oh-so-lovely grocery store. Plus, maybe you’re planning a picnic, they’re becoming pretty trendy these days. (Hint, hint, hint, how awesome would it be to be them right now? #lovely)


Okay, so there is a method to the madness, and it’s something we crazies like to call the ‘Clean 15’ -which is basically a rule of thumb of what to buy organic. It’ll definitely save money.

The Environmental Working Group (EWG) conducts a study annually about what fruits and veggies are the least and most likely to be contaminated by pesticides. Pesticides are ridiculous in that they basically are just used for hurried crops that need to be harvested in a timely manner, so the next can get started. Cha-ching, at the cost of our health. Thanks, America! If you didn’t know exactly why it’s so bad, the toxic-laden spray can cause anything from chronic diseases, to digestive issues that seriously harm your health. It’s actually a pretty swarmed list of other things that I won’t get into right now. Anyhow, some of them are kind of like a no-brainer, but after hearing the guy from the other day I might as well spread a little knowledge wealth for people who want to think “organically.” These are fruits and veggies that don’t necessarily need to be ‘Organic’ (you’ll probably just waste money if you decide otherwise)-Drumroll, please my darlings; xoxo


 {1 Corn}  {2 Onions} {3 Pineapples} {4 Avocados} {5 Cabbage} {6 Sweet Peas} {7 Papayas} {8 Mangoes} {9 Asparagus} {10 Eggplants} {11 Kiwi} {12 Grapefruit} {13 Cantaloupe} {14 Sweet Potatoes} {15 Mushrooms}