What I’m Adoring: Words That Create Shattering Emotion.


“I want the emptiness back. That full emptiness that seemed to bridge together enough of me that I could go on. My immediate moments are so chaotic that life catches a simplicity that only words such as, heavy and worthless and painful, can describe. Sometimes this life is so hidden that you realize the reality of just being is consuming, the choice of becoming no more seems lighter than the thought of our relentless points of remembrance and reference of our own mortality. Those stretching fields of bright yellows and pinks can never quite shade desperately enough to distort our own reality that our unknown is ultimately the only possession we carry. Perhaps even the honor of thinking such a way tends to make us feel worthy and deserving of even living in that moment. After all, we are by nature, vain creatures at our very core- even in examining philosophy. Beautiful lives are all we hope to create until is eventually destroys us; Our introverted humanitarian ways shadow the enlightened optimism, we know only deterrence and destruction at times- even in seeking beautiful things. Yet, to think in shifting, careless, moments, we can create such a selfless openness around us, completely allowing another reality to sink into us, bare itself, and allow the fear to follow and illuminate such a vivid horror that is undoubtably infinite. After that experience-after knowing my life is short-breathed and truthfully not all that important…you realize that to think anything of yourself at all, that is, above others, becomes the most envious and vicious of all in our boundless vanity. Truth is, when you learn to accept your immediate conscious and how the world sees us outside of our own existence- into somewhere so very far beyond- the only reality we really hold is the intangible moments that helped us to forget. When you can bare the thought that there is, indeed, perhaps nothing out there- suddenly the only hauntingly beautiful moment that strikes me above all is how our fragile souls breathlessly begin to bargain in despair to stay with the very people that made our electrifying, wilted, lives worthwhile.”

-From, “Of All The Words We Could Say”



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